


That didn’t stop you before

by livsoulsecrets



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M, Post-Canon, talks about death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:34:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26828188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livsoulsecrets/pseuds/livsoulsecrets
Summary: Brainy wakes up in the DEO medical center after being rescued from the Leviathan ship, shocked he is still alive.
Relationships: Querl Dox/Nia Nal
Kudos: 11
Collections: Fictober20





	That didn’t stop you before

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I wrote this fic for day 4 of Fictober20, based on the prompt "That didn’t stop you before", hope you enjoy it!

Brainy is convinced it is the end when he opens his eyes again. He watched many movies about death: a strong light on his face and an all white imensity around him looks just like what is described in those. 

The only thing he didn’t expect was the pain. Every part of him is hurting, his head feels heavy and sweat is falling down his face. He thought that the one good thing about dying was being free from pain, but that was not the case here. If he was still hurting… That could only mean his body wasn’t done fighting. Brainy’s used to drawing conclusions rather quickly, but his mind is not working as usual. It is like a fog is clouding his judgment, making everything harder to understand. He tries to fall back into a familiar thought pattern: collecting evidence to prove a point.

First, he blinks, adjusting his eyes to the light and taking in the white ceiling. Second, he feels the texture of the bed he’s in, realizing it is a hospital bed. Then, he smells the familiar ether scent and recognizes the place as the DEO medical area.

Evidence number 1 of not being dead, he thinks: A dead person would be sent to the morgue, not the hospital. 

He looks around his room to find that he is alone in there. The thought produces more of a reaction that he was expecting. He blames it on his system’s malfunction due to radiation overload. He had been lying to all his friends for months, working with the enemy, it would be stupid to believe his almost death would be enough to earn their forgiveness, especially Nia’s.

Nia. She was the last thing on his mind when he passed out in the Leviathan’s ship. The curve of her lips every time he bowed down to kiss her, the gentle touch of her hands on his neck when she hugged him, the soft strands of hair falling down his chest when they slept together. He was dying and the only one on his mind was her.

Evidence number 2 of not being dead, he files: Dead people can’t feel pain like the one he is experiencing now.

He feels like he might pass out again until he hears some noise outside of his room. Brainy makes an effort to sit up on his bed, but it takes such a tool on him that he can’t properly breathe after that. He closes his eyes and tries to focus on hearing what is being talked about near the door.

— Nia, you should go home. Take a shower, change into something else and, then, come back. — He can make out Kara’s voice and is relieved to realize she’s talking to Nia. That means both of them are okay and safe.

— Kara, I already ate like you asked me to. I’m okay. I just want to stay until he wakes up, alright? Then, I will go home. I just- I really need to know he is okay. — Nia’s voice is trembling, but he could recognize it anywhere, in any way.

Evidence number 3 of not being dead, he finishes: Nia is waiting for him.

That is the one thing that convinces him in the end. Nia Nal wants him to come back to her. That is probably the only thing that makes sense to him in the middle of this chaos.

— Fine. I understand. Look, I need to give my statement about what happened. Will you be okay until I come back? — Kara asks, concern clear in her voice.

— Yes, I promise I will. Don’t worry. — Nia answers. He can’t hear anything after that, so he assumes it means Kara left. Nothing happens for a couple of minutes and he starts wondering if Nia changed her mind and left. He is proven wrong when the door is suddenly open, revealing Nia in her Dreamer outfit, eyes red and watery even under the mask. Brainy has to swallow the lump in his throat caused by how devastated she looks.

— Brainy, oh my god. You’re awake. — She rushes to his side, seeming to want to hold him. Still, she stops in the middle of the act, furrowing her brow. — Are you okay? I think I should call a doctor, I will do it right now-

— No! — He says, reaching for Nia’s arm to stop her. She doesn’t move. He waits, not knowing if he should let go or not. — I’m okay, for real. Can you just wait a moment before you do it? I just… I just want to see you for a moment. 

She looks at him, biting her lip. After a moment, she slides her hand through his arm to hold his hand. Then, she squeezes it.

— I want to see you too. — Brainy feels like those words may be the reason he actually dies. 

After everything he did, he didn’t dare to think of any chances of earning Nia back. Part of him just knew he had gone too far, lied for too long to take anything back. Now, despite every part of his brain warning him against it, he dares to hope for that anyway. Nia’s hand is shaking, even when she lets go of him after some seconds. She clears her throat, crossing her arms.

— I really thought you were gone. For a moment, when they brought you in, I was convinced that… That it-

— It was the end? — Brainy completes, noticing her distress.

— Yeah, I thought so. When they told us that you made it, I couldn’t even begin to understand how. Still, I’m really glad you did. — Nia finishes, her lips quivering.

— Nia, I’m really sorry, for everything. I don’t even know where to start, to be honest. The way I lied to you, to everyone, is just awful. I will understand if you never wish to speak to me again and-

— Stop! Brainy, just stop. — Nia raises her voice in the most unusual way and he immediately stops talking, surprised. — Look, I can’t do this right now. Our city was in danger. Again. People almost died. Again. You almost died. I can’t just sit down and listen to your apology like we got into a stupid argument. It’s completely different. Our world was at risk and you decided to lie and push me away instead of asking for help. It sucks and we’llI need to talk about it, but not now. — She takes a deep breath, fixing the hair that’s falling on her face. — I need everything to stop for a damn minute, so I can actually breathe. — Her eyes are filled with water now and her cheeks are flushed with red, exhaustion clear in her features. 

— So, do it. — She looks at him, confused. — Take a minute, breathe. We have time. I understand what you are saying. I’m not the person you want to talk to right now, but I can still listen. Tell me what’s in your mind. — Nia doesn’t take her eyes away from him, pondering on his offer.

— I’m just really afraid… Not just now, but all the time. I’m so afraid all the damn time and I’m just tired of it. I’m afraid of someone else trying to stop me from being Dreamer. I’m afraid you won’t make it out of this mess. I’m afraid- No, I’m fucking terrified that I’m not strong enough to handle all the horrible things that keep happening to us and this city. I try to be strong like Kara, but I don’t think I can do it anymore. — Nia sits down after that, tears falling down her face, her head buried in her hands. Her whole body is shaking now and Brainy doesn’t know what to do to make her feel better. So he does the only thing he can think of: reaches for her hands and holds them tightly while she cries. 

— It’s okay, it’s okay. — He whispers, feeling Nia’s hand shaking despite his strong hold of them. — Just let it out. — Brainy speaks softly, hoping it helps Nia calm down. He is on the edge of breaking down just by watching the woman he loves suffering like that, especially knowing part of that responsibility is his. — I’m here, I’m right here. I wasn’t here before, but I’m now. — He promises.

Nia looks at him now, an unusual serious look on her face. She wiped the tears from her cheek, breathing more calmly now.

— There you go. Just keep breathing, it will be fine. — He hesitantly touches her cheek, caressing her face gently. He tucks her hair behind her ear, hoping the touch offers Nia some comfort. She closes her eyes, leaning in to him. When she opens them again, she’s standing so close to him Brainy can feel her breath.

— You don’t need to be strong like Kara. You just have to be strong like you. That’s more than enough. — She looks down, not seeming to be convinced by his words. — I understand why you’re scared. But what you need to understand is that didn’t stop you before and it won’t stop you now. That is what makes you so incredible: Fear doesn’t make you back down, it only pushes you forward. That is how I know you’ll be fine, no matter what happens. You’re a hero, Nia Nal, and you’re meant for great things. I know it is terrifying, but nobody in the world can stop you, nobody can take Dreamer away from you. Who you are is something you fought for every single day and that means everything you have is yours and yours only. — Brainy doesn’t even know where all of this is coming from. He’s not at his full functioning capacity yet, so that means he’s being more honest than usual.

— Oh, Brainy. — Nia whispers. — Do you really think all of that? 

— Of course I do. How could I not, with everything I know about you? — He answers. She shakes her head, still incredulous. 

— Thank you. I really needed to hear someone that believed in me today. — Nia murmurs, a small smile on her face. He can’t help but smile back. 

— No, thank you for trusting me with all of this, despite- Well, despite everything. — He adds.

— Shiu, not talking of this today. — She quickly answers. Nia moves to the edge of her seat and reaches for his hand again. Brainy is so surprised he can’t move. Then, she puts her head on his shoulder. — You are gonna stay quiet and rest now. — She commands.

— Wouldn’t think of disobeying. — He assures. 

— Good, you scared me enough for a lifetime. — The way her voice breaks shows the words are sincere.

Brainy doesn’t know how it’s possible that Nia still cares for him in such a way when he doesn’t deserve it, but he is not going to start overthinking now. Instead, he kisses the top of her head and buries his nose in her hair. 

It still smells just like he remembered.

Evidence number 4 of not being dead, he thinks one last time: Only someone that is alive could feel as much love for somebody as he does right now.


End file.
